Moving On

Sometimes there are things that happen in our lives that simply knock us off our feet. We are blown away by our utter disappointment in the people we have allowed into our lives---not just a neighbor or a good friend, but someone you feel proud to call your daughter.  The betrayal cuts so deep that at times I have not been sure I will rise above the pain, but my son has shown a resilience that gives me hope and makes me believe that in the end, we will all be better for the loss. My daughter Hailey has lost her sister, my husband and I have lost our daughter, and my son has lost his wife.

Initially I dropped out of my graduate math courses, but my son --the one that should be the most distraught of all-- said firmly to me. "MOM! I'm not dropping out of school, and if I can keep it together, then YOU can do it too! I NEED strong people around me right now. PLEASE, contact your professor immediately and get back into your courses! We are NOT week people, and we will NOT let her actions destroy us!"

He is talented, intellectually gifted, and hard working.

On top of that, he loves his mama!

I can tell you that I have had many difficult days, however, I am so proud of my son for continuing with his full-time job, his full-time class load where he is pulling straight A's, and his work on his gorgeous bachelor pad in the spare moments in-between that load. I suppose there are girls out there without the self-esteem to handle a hard-working man, but for me, and the way I was brought up, there is nothing more admirable than an intelligent, talented, hard-working man. You go Brady! A real woman is going to set her eyes on your sexy work ethic and never let go!!!

my parents in their 70's

That is the kind of man my Daddy is, and when he came home from the war his weak-willed wife had left him for another man -and what she thought was the 'easy way out.' Twenty years later (my parents would have been about 40 years old at this time) she came to formally repent directly to my Daddy for her sins. I still remember my Momma's intimidation as she fearfully anticipated that dreaded evening. The woman my mom remembered was a beauty, and mom was more than a little intimidated and a bit haunted by her memory.

By that time, my Daddy was an Aeronautical Engineer and the Bishop of our ward. My mom was a 5' 8" striking beauty with a gorgeous smile. All of us kids were prepared for a beauty queen to arrive at our house, so you can imagine our surprise when a fairly heavy woman in a 'moo-moo' arrived to express her sincere apologies to my ever handsome daddy for her past sins and the pain she had caused him to suffer for so many years.

 

my mom deep in thought earlier this year,

and still beautiful at 77!

Did I mention how grateful I am that the first woman was WEAK WEAK WEAK!!!
I thank God every day that  I  got my momma's brilliant gene pool! And YES, God IS at the helm, and I continually thank him for unanswered prayers! 

Some of the lessons I have learned are to love my family MORE!
My eldest son Aaron and his beautiful wife Serod live nearby, and I need to nurture my relationship with them even more. Look how beautiful they are together! I find myself grateful for their simple fights, because their relationship is authentic!

 

Aaron and Serod

And I appreciate the close relationship that I have with my baby girl Hailey, and I'm grateful she has lived her freshman year of college at home. I am grateful for EVERY second that God grants me to spend with this amazing family of mine, and look forward to the years that lay ahead of us -whatever they may bring! With the love of each other and the help of our Heavenly Father, there is nothing we cannot endure.

 

Hailey at age 14 representing the 

State of Utah as the Teen

winner at Internationals along 

with Utah's Tiny Tot Ashlyn

Me and my man since 1983,

Dave Kern -a talented, kind, and

industrious man with a heart of

pure gold. A true gift from God.

In the end, it is not our trials, but our ability to pull together, LOVE one another, trust God, and put one foot in front of the other!!!

To my friends and family, I renew myself to being a better wife, mother and friend. When it comes to my friends, I TRULY have the most amazing friends imaginable. You have seen me through a lifetime of both joys and sorrows. We live, love, and grieve together, and share both life's joys and disappointments. I love each of you. I could not endure life without you. 

And to my family, how does one woman warrant such blessings from God? I married the kindest man in existence that continues to love me even when I am not very lovable. On top of that, I grew up in an amazing family, and have continued to live a charmed life with children that fill my heart with joy and fulfillment. Even when things are tough, my love NEVER wavers. No matter the course that your lives may take, I will ALWAYS love you. I truly love each of you and count myself a blessed woman!